


All that Glitters

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: Hawkeye is bitter and lonely.





	All that Glitters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadesofhades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/gifts).



> /emphasis/; written for Raven's April 11, 2003 Friday five minute challenge. I have no idea how long this one took, because I was writing it amid many distractions and interruptions. But it /was/ written somewhere in 29 minutes. //lyrics//; lyrics from 'Falling for the First Time' by the Barenaked Ladies.
> 
> (Please note: I wrote this ages ago, back when italics weren't even possible, on Yahoo! Groups. And I'm much too lazy to go through and put them in, sorry!)

All that glitters, sometimes, are the raindrops that dust the compound, reflecting and refracting orangey-firelight from the shells exploding...

At night, when the darkness is as oppressive as a heavy winter blanket, I stand in the doorway of the Swamp, searching the deserted camp for something--

Maybe it's a star to wish on, a little piece of hope amidst the reality of Korea, the hopelessness that breeds here, that breathes deep within my chest as I lie on my cot in this selfsame darkness...

But tiptoe back with me, to the doorway of the Swamp, a hand on each side, the roughness of the olive abusing your palms--

all that glitters here are the explosions, the apathetic stars that seem so high overhead, the odd glint of a metal mess tent fork.

I've searched so hard -- so far -- for something of value, and thus my only discovery has been that nothing of worth exists here in Korea. Just because something glistens -- and here, anything that isn't green can be said to shine -- doesn't mean it has a whit of value. Anything, under the correct lighting and the appropriate situation, can scintillate. Anything can appear beautiful.

//Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost  
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost//

Just like you. When we got here, we were best friends closer than best friends, and then we became lovers, and you hid your wedding ring away in your footlocker.

Nights, then, were almost a pleasure -- the shine of the moon catching your dog tags, swinging in the dim illumination, the heavy pressure of your body as you lie against mine...

...the heat of your skin and the taste of homemade gin on your breath... But then you slipped that glittering gold back on and the dog tags came off, and you flew home without saying goodbye.

That polished gold that brands you hers, as opposed to the tarnished, ever-blackening silver that meant you were mine...

I miss rubbing my calloused fingers over your statistics. And sending me the tags that your daughters used to wear is just not the same -- it only reminds me that you're not here, but there, and all that's left...

Just a kiss trailing behind for Radar to deliver.

I miss the sensation of the essence of you engraved into my heart.

And, Trap, like serial numbers it never comes off, no matter how far down I file.

**Author's Note:**

> According to my history teacher, during the Korean War children were also forced to wear dog tags in case the atom bomb was dropped. However, many parents refused to let their kids wear them. (Hence the reference to Trapper and his wife being a couple of those recalcitrant parents.)


End file.
